My Most Spiritual Moment

Two of my favorites that Ruth made.

My most spiritual moment ever occurred in June, 2003 just before I was diagnosed the the brain tumor. This happened as the result of a really sad tragic illness. One of our church members, Ruth was diagnosed with a brain tumor. A really bad kind. She had surgery and was able to continue her life for a couple of years with no problems. Then in December, 2002, she started feeling bad and, at the suggestion of her husband, had another MRI even through the one that was done in June was fine. When she had the one in December, it showed that the tumor had returned with a vengeance and another surgery had to be performed. She came through the surgery, but it was apparent that she was not going to be able to beat it this time. In January, 2003 she was moved into a beautiful Hospice facility with beautiful surroundings and around the clock care.

At that time, I was in the Women's organization leadership and one of my responsibilities was to visit the sick and help make sure that we were doing all that we could as a church to help and support this family during these hard times. There were three children, the oldest was a girl around 11, a boy that was 8, and the baby girl. I believe she was 5.

One day early in July, a friend, Michelle and I visited Ruth. I asked her if she knew who I was. (We had been friends for the longest time, but this was near the end and I was not sure how much she knew about what was going on.) She said, "Yes, you're Carol". Then she looked up at me and asked me "Do I matter?"

I was really stunned for just a second. If any of you reading this believe that the Holy Ghost can be with you and that words will come when you need for them to, this truly happened. I said to her, "yes, you do matter and let me tell you why."

It was at that moment that words come from I don't know where and I was able to recall vividly lessons that she had taught and what they had meant to me personally. I thanked her for the dozens and dozens of baby quilts that she had made and donated to needy babies. There were hundreds! I thanked her for quilting lessons that she had given to so many. (We always had a quilting frame set up and we all worked on these baby quilts from time to time at her direction.) I told her all the places in my own home that I had things that she had made and that her artistic talent was unbelievable. I reminded her that she hand painted my beads to take to girl's camp and all the girls clamored to get one of them. I told her the joy of my friends in my birthday group when I gave them a candy jar that she had painted. They oohed and aahed and you know how you can tell when you hit a home run with a gift. They were all delighted. I reminded her that I had outbid everyone for the special quilt that she made to commemorate our Women's Retreat that reflected our theme of Psalms 119:105 that says Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. (The money raised was to be used for more fabric to make more baby quilts.) But, most of all I told her we were all grateful for the unwavering example that she set in living the gospel. I told her that she would always be missed and never forgotten.

She passed away shortly after that. I still regret that I was unable to attend her funeral because on the day of her funeral my youngest granddaughter was born.

One great spirit left us and a new little spirit entered the world. Such is the circle of life. She was a good person and I do think of her often and I do miss her.