Who's the boss?

This is a picture of my Daddy when he was young and the way that I remember him. I was afraid of him or maybe I respected him and his position in the family. The other day my sister Kaye and I were discussing him and she asked "Why were we afraid of him?" I said I could recall the exact moment that we established the hierarchy in the family.

I was about 3 years old. About the age in this picture where I am looking ever so angelic as I played tea party with my doll. Behind the grocery store there was a city drainage ditch that was paved and used to catch all the water run off from the city streets. This ditch was sprayed with chemicals for mosquito control and if even a little rain came, it was a torrent of rushing water.

Daddy told me not to play in the ditch. There was usually a little stream of running water, so the temptation was just too much to bare. I thought he was making a suggestion. He was very concerned for my safety.

One day he caught me playing in the ditch. He went straight to an Alfa bush (I think that's what they're called) and picked a switch. He stripped all the leaves off and proceeded to switch me all the way back to the entrance of the store. I was screaming, hurting and left with welts on my legs.

Now I know that spanking, in any form, today is a no no. However, it immediately established who the boss was and from that moment on I never, and I do mean NEVER, crossed that man again. The one thing that I never wanted to do was incur his wrath.

I can go one step further. I never wanted to hear him say "I'm disappointed in you." Those very words would bring me to tears and, trust me, I don't cry.

I plan to write more about him in upcoming weeks, but suffice it to say, I am totally a Daddy's Girl. When he died at the young age of 61, I was able to look into his casket with no regrets. I felt that I had been the best daughter that I could possibly be. I'm not aware of doing anything to make him worry. I spent a lot of time telling him how important he was to me. I listened to his wisdom and advice. I was with him when he left this earth and that's exactly where I wanted to be.

If you are lucky enough to still have your Daddy, do you show him how important he is to you and can you say you'll have no regrets? Do you show him the respect and love that he deserves? Do you tell him often? Do you share important occasions and moments with him and only him?

I know I wish I could still do that! I still miss him and it's been 32 years. If I sit still and listen, I can hear his voice.