What now?

Last Friday I received my second surgical opinion. Both doctors, both considered leaders in their field of neurosurgery in this particular area, independently of each other, feel that I have radiation damage and that surgery would not make things better. In fact, it could make things worse. The balance problem is here to stay.

I've had many hours to mull over possible things that I might do and being the kind of person that I am, I certainly will not take this lying down. I feel I have much left to do.

The doctor suggested that I treat all the other symptoms that I have and watch the tumor to see if it grows. Then, and only then, will I have surgery.

Here is my plan to attack:

1. Counseling. I've used counselors a time or two in my life at various stressful times and now is certainly stressful. I would like help learning to cope with cronic pain.

2. A nutritionist. I have very profound digestion issues that I have previously dealt with, but as stress builds, it escalates. So, I would like a nutritionist to work with me on getting my diet right.

3. Exercise. I am a couch potato. I have always been and have never cared to participate in any kind of physical activity. But, for two days in a row, I have clocked a mile on the treadmill at a pretty fast pace. I have John acting as Jillian (The Biggest Loser) standing in front of the treadmill shouting at me that if I stop, he'll take a bar bell and beat me with it. (You have to watch The Biggest Loser to understand that.)

4. Theraputic deep tissue massage. I have done this for quite a while now when I can afford it. It is expensive, but oh so worth it. I'm going to try to continue because it really works for me.

5. Drugs. Yes, drugs. I was taught not to take any unnecessary medicine and now, it's necessary. I know deep down inside that I need to be on an anti-depressant. Anytime anyone deals with something constantly, they need help. So, I'm officially giving in (please forgive me, Mother - she would not approve.)

6. Take one day at a time. Minute by minute if necessary. Try to keep those things "on my plate" small and manageable. As much as I'd like to do for others and have a busy social life, it's just not in the cards. When I can, I will. When I can't, I will not stress!

7. Continue to stay plugged into the anausa.org group of helpful people that are all going through similar things, some much worse. But, accept their help, guidance, wisdom, and friendship.

8. Remember everyday how much I have to be greatful for. Things could be so much worse and I never lose sight of that.

9. Try to attend my church meetings and get my spiritual "fix" every Sunday. It always leaves me feeling uplifted and happy.

10. Take more time to have fun. Sometimes, when things are just not going right, I thing we forget to just have fun.

11. Continue to travel whenever we can!!!

12. I will make a concentrated effort to reach out, if only by phone, to those around me that are having problems. Speaking from experience, you have no idea how important a phone call can be when you're feeling low. There are friends, co-workers, fellow church members, and neighbors that are in need of a listening ear. I will try to be there for those that I know are suffering.

That's my Dozen!!! I wrote a dozen because my very favorite thing comes in dozens - doughnuts!!!